I will give you the ancient scriptures of Bethlehem as written by the Pigeon of the Sands. The Pigeon of the Sands was the most loved creature in Egypt. The Pharoh Eugenephetes would stroke the feathers of The Pigeon of the Sands at least twice a day and no more than thrice. This lead to rumours of The Pigeon of the Sands being spoiled and so he fled to Bethlehem where he met Christ. Christ told The Pigeon of the Sands to write down the scriptures from Kickacrocodilion in his blood after he had sacrificed himself and The Pigeon of the Sands agreed.

You would be mad to pass up on an offer this rich and full of ancient history.

P.S. There's also a bit of old pigeon s**t on the corner of one of the pages and I can't get it off, so you'll have to deal with that.

KayR said:

I will give you the ancient scriptures of Bethlehem as written by the Pigeon of the Sands. The Pigeon of the Sands was the most loved creature in Egypt. The Pharoh Eugenephetes would stroke the feathers of The Pigeon of the Sands at least twice a day and no more than thrice. This lead to rumours of The Pigeon of the Sands being spoiled and so he fled to Bethlehem where he met Christ. Christ told The Pigeon of the Sands to write down the scriptures from Kickacrocodilion in his blood after he had sacrificed himself and The Pigeon of the Sands agreed.

You would be mad to pass up on an offer this rich and full of ancient history.

P.S. There's also a bit of old pigeon s**t on the corner of one of the pages and I can't get it off, so you'll have to deal with that.

This made me roflcopter so hard.