Checked both drops, but admittedly didn’t listen to the 1nd one all the way through. I don’t know why I checked out the 2nd link first, perhaps I just don’t like tinyurl lol

Anyway…

I’m gonna be straight up with you. Nothing you said on both tracks felt sincere. It was like a virgin really wanting to one day get some acknowledgement of a female.

The flow was ok, but not liquid, besides not original. What I mean is, you are landing your words on beat (often not), but you aren’t truly riding it with a harmonious rhythm. Essentially I believe that is what flow is.

Lyrics…No comment. Ok, comment. Do you really care about what you’re writing down? It doesn’t seem like it man. Other than that, nothing really stood out to me and your structuring needs work as there was a lot of forced words and syllables in there.

Delivery probably bothered me the most besides ”topic” matter. No personality and presence, it felt very flat, formal, uninteresting, blank. It felt forced. No energy, no umphhh. It felt corny 100%. I’m just telling you what I heard.

All in all…I don’t know man, why not be yourself? I could tell like after 5 seconds into the track that you ain’t really spitting YOU. I would say figure that out. Spit that sh*t you give a f*ck about whether it’s positive or negative, whether it pisses you off or inspires you lol. I would also work on your delivery a lot, make it colorful and smooth, more sincere. It sounds like you are just reading everything off paper and spitting them lines with no passion. I’d try find that natural and personal delivery by freestyling or just experiment with it doing acapella and sh*t. Most of all, find out what you care about, it’ll be easier to deliver with passion then. Flow needs polishing, but I feel if you get your lyrics structured right, you shouldn’t have to worry too much. You’ll find that liquid flow. Lyrics…Man, I hardly ever comment on people’s lyrics cause I’m just not often impressed by them and take it for what it is, but you really gotta think about what you’re saying man. Find what suits you and work it out. Better schemes, couple one liners, more interesting rhymes and who knows perhaps a little wordplay. Metaphors work for literally any type of track if you ask me and they can stick. As for all the other lyrical elements, it all depends on what point you want to get across.

Keep working