http://www.zshare.net/audio/195862052b3f5922/

i did put it on myspace but the new players are all bugged right now

but ya this is a sad/ deep not really emotional track but can be looked at as 1

i would really appreciate feedback on this

im not deep like this all the time but feel free to hit me with what comes to mind

positives - negatives

how to improve or nothing needs to be changed lol

im feelin de topic ina way. ina way dat ur dad is not around. my dad is not dead (i hope) i just havent heard of him since i was like 5. but anyway, i really like de beat on dis. good choice. i think ur flow is improvin. tho it never was kinda bad. but one thing is, ur lyrics. u seem to repeat alot of conjunctions in ur text. try to put in more diverse words and find other ways for ur thoughts. like, when u wanna say smth, before u say it, think “how else can i say it”.

de harmonizin in de end actually goes along well wit de whole idea for me atleast. i think itsa success, i like dis song most from u. good luck

Good topic. Lost my father to.

Thought it was alright, lil constructive critism though:

Work on how you ride the beat. Your flow counts for 50% of your music, and without a consistant flow, doesnt matter how touchy the subject is to a person, they wont even get it the time of day.

Like PK said, your lyrics need work, but I think for your age and I can tell you havent been doing this aslong as some cats, its good, so keep that up.

Also, build up your stamina and come harder on the mic. You lack that ‘UMPH’ on a mic, that gives the listener more of an emotional connection with you. So work on your expression through voice, and give more energy when it comes to rap.

All n all, you did well. Id give it a 6.3/10, which is average, but dont take that as your an average rapper. Just need improvement in areas. Practice makes perfect.

good topic and good idea with the song and i feel where ur comin from..just work on ur flow and lyrics..i thought u sounded a lot better in “never give up”