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Need some opinions


9:10 pm
April 7, 2008



Posts: 77


I’ve never posted on the forum, been a member for awhile though, listen to the beats alot, love em, and i write songs to em sometimes, i get mixed reviews from friends though, I was wantin some feedback about some verses I’ve wrote, thanks!

I don’t represent nothin, but I do present somethin

I’m just a lil off then the rest of em

I’m little more screwed up, I come all juiced up

Your styles all used up, It’s used more than a bruised cunt

And don’t take me lightly, or turn your back blindly

Cause I just might be, inclined to make you fight me

Motherf**ker I’ll come up from behind ya

And slit you down the back and make you a f**kin vagina

You just got f**ked, I’ll eat you alive like pot luck

How’s your mom? Now I know where to go to get my cock sucked

I heard your birth was 3 weeks late

They had to remove all the guys from between her legs

I also heard that you took a crap backwards

Your last song was the s**t that you rapped afterwards

Your last track was abstract straight from your f**king asscrack

Do us all a favor and dont rap back


So what’s the point of even trying to insult me?

You can’t do it, every line you write is faulty

It appalls me, I walk you through beats like a doggy

It makes you mad cause you know you’ll never stop me

You try to top me with every song your dropping

But you’ve never got me, so stop beef and get off me

Keep going the way your going and its gonna get awefully

Nasty real quick and end with you in a coffin

Now I don’t mean to be rude, but dude

When you talk s**t I’ll stuff you with fists like your chewin dog food

Now don’t get me wrong I love to battle

I love to rattle your cage, and listen to you babble

The same old s**t, and acting like it really matters

But you suck so bad you just help me finish you faster

Sit back and witness this master, diminish this rapper

To an tremendous disaster. I’m done b*tch I’ll finish you after



Thats some recent stuff i wrote i few nights ago, i have recorded songs from awhile ago, got em saved on CD’s but i just have a s**tty computer microphone lol, so the sound quality of my voice sucks.

 feedback appreciated, tell it like it is. 


You can-suck-a-fuckin-stick-a-dynamite, and-struck-the-fuckin-wick-a-light. It’ll hit you harder then-I-motherfuckin-hit-my-wife.


10:38 pm
April 7, 2008


Posts: 4608

Shadowvilles Battlefields


not bad..  room for improvement but you have the basic principles down..  It would be better to hear you in audio then i could make a better judgement when i can hear how you flow..  only advice i can really give you is just keep trying to improve on every aspect of your craft..  study other raw emcees that inspire you..  you’ll only get better with time and practice yo..  for REAL!

good stuff, stay up! 

10:48 pm
April 7, 2008


Seasoned Veteran

Posts: 565

Kissimmee, FL


it aint bad… strife said there is room for improvement… thing though….when u say in ur rhymes that u "aint like the rest of them" then actually try to be different….. alot of "rappers" these days all they talk about is bein all gangxta and all dat shyt (which is da same thing u did) try to listen to other (good) rappers and try to come up with ur own style of word play and rhyming and dont spit the same as every1 else Sealed.. just work on the structure of the rhymes and up ur vocab a lil and i look forward to hear some audio of u soon