What up Shadowvillians.
I consider y’all family bruh, our common interests speak for themselves
So i got problemz-just like everybody does, but sh*t just hit the fan man like I’m not the type of dude to be depressed in life, but right now sh*t is harder then morning wood feel me. I jus gotta vent sh*t, so I wrote some sh*t on whats goin on, if u bother reading
Here’s my story
When I was sixteen I started seeing this girl right, nothing serious, I mean I was f*ckin wit a couple chicks when I was yougner. But this one was different. She was the apple of my eye, that forbidden fruit sh*t u always want cuz u know u can’t get it. Anyway, I got it. She left whoever the f*ck her man was, for me. Everything was cool for a while, romantic, she was 16 and a virgin, then I popped the cherry. I became hers, lol. In the group of friends we were with, this one girl was always staring at me, like this girl just stared bro, non-stop. My girlfriend started getting jealous n what not, asking like wtf this b*tch staring at u all day for!? I knew it, everybody did, but I kept saying nah nah its in ur head. Long story short I f*cked that girl, which also had a boyfriend….A couple times in, she mentions her boyfriend is a dick (a small one lol) and she wanted to break up with him to start dating me officially. But that b*tch a hoodrat. My girlfriend was high maintenance, therefor high class, and there was the love factor involved. I refused. That b*tch got mad jealous and one day, she went to my girls house and told my girl that I was cheating on her with her, and so forth. So I get to the block on the city bus, and guess who’s waiting rightt at the stop, pissed off. My girl. I get off the bus, she breaks down crying bla bla, anyway THAT DAY CHANGED EVERYTHING. I told her its not true, and she believed me over that b*tch, but trust me when I say this, THAT DAY, THE TRUST WAS GONE. We were only together for like 3 months when that happened, and I swear from that day on, she questionned every thing I did, everywhere I went, and got maddd jealous everytime a girl stared at me. It was never the same!
I stayed with my girlfriend for 7 years, broke up a couple of times (who doesn’t?) but me n her was f*ckin like adam n eve. We were so close, it was me n her against the world. We got crazy attached like crazy. But it ain’t healthy, in 7 years, I have dropped almost all of my friends from back then, seriously, I have like 3 friends now who I can count on or wtv. I’ve seen my family a lot less, lacked motivation on everything I did, and have been unsuccessful in life generally bro. Like damn, I’m almost 23 and I’m nowhere, I got 7K cash money, a 3000$ Kia and this apartment where I’m at. I ventured in paving stones, opened a business for two years but dropped the stable job to do so, and had weeks where I made 2000, but when winter comes.. Get a job!. Still, I never made enough money in a summer to bounce to california for the winter and just spend, have a ball. Anyway I never would of done that, cuz of my girl.
You guys know the show Shipping Wars? Anyway I saw an episode, and decided to do it, it looked so f*ckin cool u drive all over the states man seeing everything, paid to travel, etc. And so I did, I booked a jeep I had to bring from Ohio to FortMcMurray back up in Canada for 4500$. And a Fiero from there to back home here in Montreal. So I rented a huge ass trailer, paid one of my boys for his truck for 1 full week, gave 300$, brought my father and brother along, paying them both, and bounced! It was sick, one of the funnest weeks of my life, f*ck beware of the unknown, prepare for the unknown cuz its the sh*t bro. I made 6K that week total, with a 2.5k profit marge for me. Sick. I then booked another trip to Arizona on my way back, for the next week, but when I got back, evidently me n my gurl f*cked, then I told her I booked another, and she told me if I left again, she would break up with me. I cancelled that sh*t, stuck with my gurl and honestly nowadays I’m regretting that sh*t so much! I had a way! A possible route in which the outcome was rich, rich bro like ritchie. I’m real smart and that permitted me to book jobs over the other 300 000 people bidding for em becuz they, too saw shipping wars. But I had it, could of kept going and made a sh*tload of money, a profession, or wtv u want call it. But I bailed for her, stayed here and found like a factory job or some sh*t and worked there 6 months. The next summer I did roofing, and took it to my advantage as I am now starting up a roofing company, I’ll explain later. I always had, and still have good ideas of what to do in life, like with my friends I’m always the one talking bout doing this, or that, all ideas.
Anyway its now 2014, been with her since 2007, and I am f*cking not further in my life, I’m not placing blame on her, I’m stating facts. The relationship I was in was not healthy, she controlled my happiness so at the end of the day I did what she permitted me to do, or I did what made her happy in other words. Same on my side, I made this girl so jealous she broke her phone 3 times in a week by throwing it against the wall cuz she was so pissed off and jealous at me while talking on the phone. LOL I ended up going with her every time to the chinese guy to get it fixed. Chinese guy found it weird 3 times in a week. Rough times man, and the worst part, is in tthose 7 years, I had never opened up a facebook account, becuz I knew some girls would try to contact me, (ones i cheated on my girl with in the past, I know I was an a**hole) but she had a facebbok from the start. After two years in the relationship, she deleted her facebook, for me, without me even asking her to! But the reason she did that see, is to keep me to herself, so I never had a reason to open a facebook becuz she didn’t have one either. Feel me?
Back 2 months from today, sh*t was getting weird, like were sick of being with each other, but love it at the same time. But it was gettin so routine, I do my sh*t on my side, her too, but together, we just either have sex, or lounge in the couch watching movies like same routine all the time, I never tried to do anything for her, and activites ran short. Movie theatre and a chique restaurant at least once a week, which I always paid, while she racks up money from her job, lives at her dads, no rent to pay, and I got rent, supply the weed for both of us cuz she smokes with me at night, pay the billz, food, weed, and restaurant, yo. She just bought a 2014 Kia Forte brand new, on 7 years of payments still, but like I would not do that. I venture, got no stability. Plus I lost my license for the second time, 6 months now, so she drives me around nowadays I hate it. I get my license in a week now. So about a month ago, we had a mutual break up, becuz were just not happy with our relationship. But goddamn it was so hard we instantly came back together, like in a day or two. Then broke it off again the next week, like its just not working anymore. I then, finally, opened up a facebook acccount, two weeks ago. She went crazy bro, we didnt talk for like 5 days, and when I opened my facebook up, she f*ckin freaked out drunktexting at 3 in the mo, unknown calls n sh*t, and she came to my cribs knocking in the window almost broke it. I let her in, she had a jealousy fit like realllllll hard throwing sh*t, hitting me , I ahd to bring her outside bro… She broke some design items or wtv in my bathroom. Sry I’m blazed now.
She comes over, because of jealousy, we f*ck and its like reallll good sex right, shes putting so much effort now becuz shes jealous and feels like there is competition right, so she competes. But like I said, its always for the bad reasons. She sucks my dick longer and deeper when she feels insecure.. lol Might as well have her insecure all the time! HAHA just playin man this is serious. She will put more effort on US when she feels insecure, and I guess same on my part, which is called emotional dependancy. sh*t is not healthy man. I’ve BEEN emotionally dependant on this girl forever and same for her, nobody realises it though. Damn then after the facebook fit, and her coming over a couple nights a week but jsut to f*ck, anything else was awkward man I don’t know what to say. So we really broke up man, and I’m having such a f*cking hard time dealing with it, I think about her always. Constantly. On f*cking repeat in my head, like that song u heard 13 times on the radio today. Damn I can’t do anything right now I have no appetite I hardly talk to anyone I do my work but just think about her while I’m doing it….f*ck. I’ve never been threw anything this hard in my life bro. I feel like I can’t do it, I have lost all self esteem, I feel stupid, incompetent, when usually I’m a very talented guy I think. Ya I’m talking to other girls on facebook, but I don’t want none of that pussy bro, I don’t know why!? f*ck man. At the same time, I’m starting up a roofing company this year, just bought a crazy ass Rigid compressor, nail gun anyway all the equipment it cost me almost 2g and made it all back plus profit on my first job, ya i signed one. Still look young so have trouble on the estimates… I finished my first job today actuallly, while I work I feel super good, confident, bossing guys around and got one of my friends working for me too, but I get home and its like a deathtrap. Then I’m thinking about her non stop, and like I said I tossed alot of people out of my life and hardly have anymore friends. My bestfriend from highschool, Prince, is actually in jail now for 5 years. My girl rubbed it in my face, ‘look at young friends theyre f*cking gangsters and drug dealers your going nowhere in life’. But yo she actually got me to stop hanging with that crowd and honest to god I’ll thank her cuz I’d probably be in jail by now too.
I haven’t spoken to her in a week now, and I’m all f*cked up like I lost her for good. Shes on vacation with her mom right now in Cuba, gets back next sunday. I want to text her or call her when she gets back, sooo bad, but I know that I can’t do that, but f*ck I reallllyy want to.
Its like I can’t resist, I swear man shes crack and I’m a f*ckin crackhead yo. You know the power of a relationship lies in he who givs a f*ck less. And I played that card so long that I ended up on the other side of the f*ckin coin man. She now is gone becuz she thinks I never cared enough, u feel me? Damn I don’t have any other cards to play, I don’t know what to do, and I can’t get her back now I feel like sh*t. So anyway thats my story right now, just wanted to put this out there see if any of yall went threw a tough break up, similar sitch or just some advice on wtf to do right now man! Thx for reading if u did!
n yesterday my friend sais ‘ Yo Kenny theres plenty other fish in the sea bro’
I say ‘Ya bro, I know, but she’s a mermaid…’
lol
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