I found this on the internet, 'Stans of 2009'

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see it at all
But even if I could it'd all be grey, but you're on my Facebook Wall
Which reminds me that it's not so bad.. not so bad..

[Calm typing]

Dear Slim,
I tweeted you but you still ain't tweet back
I put my myspace, my gmail & my facebook at the bottom
I sent two tweets back in Autumn, you must not've got 'em
There was probably a problem with the server or something
Sometimes I hit 'Send' too sloppy when I press it
But anyways, f**k it, what's been up man, how's Alaina?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm 'bout to be a father
If I have a daughter.. guess what I'ma call her? I'ma name her Tonya
I read about your buddy Proof, too, I'm sorry
I had a friend get killed too over some stupid game of pool
I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the acapella version of “Stan”
I got a room full of your posters & your pictures, man
I like that s**t you did with Bruno too, that s**t was phat
Anyways, hope you get this man
Tweet me back, just to chat, truly yours
Your biggest fan, this is Stan (in 2009)

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see it at all
But even if I could it'd all be grey, but you're on my Facebook Wall
Which reminds me that it's not so bad.. not so bad..

[Angrier Typing]

Dear Slim,
You still ain't tweeted back, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad, I just think it's f**ked up you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna let me into the concert, you didn't have to
But you could've put the performance up on YouTube
I love you like a brother man, you're thirty six years old
80 million sold yet you still won't upload
That's pretty s**tty man, instead I had to watch Idol
And ain't nobody hates that show more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to
I remember Bunyan tweet me in November, he said if I added you, you'd accept
See, I'm just like you in a way, I've been divorced twice
Ex-wife left me when I accidentally called her Obie Trice
I can relate to what you're saying on your CD
So when I have a s**tty day, I bump it on my PSP
And my Ipod and Motorola 'cause that s**t helps when I'm depressed
I got a tattoo at 3am that says “We Made You” on my chest
Sometimes I even shoot myself when I'm playing on the Wii
So I can re-spawn with better weapons, that game is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous because I'm on your forum 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you, Slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like when you were initially blowing up
You gotta txt me man, it'll be the best credit you ever use
Sincerely yours, Stan
PS: we should blog together too.

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see it at all
But even if I could it'd all be grey, but you're on my Facebook Wall
Which reminds me that it's not so bad.. not so bad..

Furious Typing sound in background]

dear Mr. I'm-Too-Good-To-Text-Or-Tweet-My-Fans
This'll be the last email I'll EVER send your ass
It's been 6 days and still no word, I don't deserve it
I know you got my last two Tweets, the web address was perfect
So this is the last post I'm sending you, I hope you read it
I'm in a cybercafe right now, I'm doing 90 words per minute
Hey Slim, how's it feel, is it fantastic, is it grand?
You know that song you released in 2000 called Stan
About that guy who could've saved that other guy from drowning
But didn't, and he drove off a bridge and in a car they found him?
That's not how this is at all, but you coulda added me on Twitter
But now it's too late, I've attached a thousand viruses, I'm bitter
And all I asked was you accept my friend request
I hope you know I pirated Relapse & bought “Obsessed”
I love you Slim, we could've blogged together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope I'm in the paper & you read about it
& when you read I hope you log on & TWEET about it
Then I hope your 'net crashes and you call your ISP about it
See, Slim, SHUT UP BITCH I'M TRYING TO TYPE
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screaming at me on Skype
But I didn't slit her throat, I just called her up, see I ain't like you
So when I hang up on her she'll suffer more, then she'll cry too
Oh well, I gotta go, I've almost done this email
Oh s**t.. I forgot… you don't have a f**king gmail

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see it at all
But even if I could it'd all be grey, but you're on my Facebook Wall
Which reminds me that it's not so bad.. not so bad..

Dear Stan (in 2009),
I meant to tweet you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you'd call your daughter that
But you pirated Relapse?? You shoulda bought her that
I'm sorry I didn't see your friend request, I musta missed it
It must be something wit' your name, it just doesn't list it
But what's this s**t about you get f**ked by your stepdad too?
I say that s**t just clownin', dawg, c'mon, how Insane is you?
You got some issues, man, I think you need some counsellin'
To help your ass from surfing the web when you get down some
And what's this s**t about you want us to blog together?
That type of nerdy s**t make me not want us to Tweet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
Or maybe you just need to unblock her from Skype
I hope you're reading what I type, I just hope it reaches you in time
Before you start a blog, I think you'll be doin' just fine
If you hear Relapse a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stan
why are you so mad? Try to understand that I do want you as a Facebook friend
I just don't want you to do some crazy s**t
I've told you about 2000 Stan, but this one s**t made me sick
Some dude went to a cybercafe & logged on to the net
And blocked his girlfriend on Skype, while she was pregnant with his kid
And in his 'Drafts' folder they found a post, but it didn't say who it was to
Come to think about it… I know who typed it… it was you

Fail…

http://www.sendspace.com/file/eyibss

LMAO