hell yea man, im ready for this one

wow they call themselves rappers

 Wait till you die and eat a meal nice and hearty //

call me Sutter Home because ill pop your head like a grape//??? 

Swollow your teeth when you bite the curb//

"BITCH YOU AINT NO NERD" im unforgivable//

Sit you in a chair and gag you with duct tape // 

these aint bars fam hate to tell ya……… they dont even rhyme….  

yo, the blood stains on my hands dont compare to the scars on my wrist

these decapitated heads dont compare to your moms recuperated clit

your whole family hanging from hooks by their necks

just for fun, just because of disrespect

do you expect, that this was all out of neglect?

just cause i was unloved, and a lonely child

that i would rape woman in the grocery aisles

and attack anyone and lunge for their throats

just because they said my rhymes were a joke?

do you think your crazy? are you insane?

have you hung anyone with a noose made of chains?

then cut your own self just to witness pain

then bleed all over your victims and treat it as a game

some people call me fucked up, and inhumane

fucking choke you to death with your spinal vein

my "home boy Priest" has just been slain

Alright i sit you in a seat in front of me

tie you down, and you watch as i continue my killin spree

you realize your gonna die, something you couldnt foresee

put cement on your feet, and release you at sea

so you drown the fuck to death, you just keep gasping

gasping for air, that your unable to get

send your family in there with you, i make the transmit

fuck this soft shit ill murder you here

your gone without a trace, you fucking disappear

 no one remembers you, not even your peers

your family couldve remembered you, if they werent chopped up in my freezer

and thier bodies dissected, by my pair of tweezers

 fuck id be normal, if it werent for my split personality

causing fatality, my breakdown of mentality

 or my fucked up thoughts of criminality

youll never defeat me, im full of imortality  

Hey fellas.

Priest- I was feelin’ you on the battle versus. ne so thats why I clicked this link. Your lyrics are pretty good. One thing you need to work on though, is making it flow. Most of us here, at least those that really rap, will flow these a bit in our heads and your bars are a bit choppy. Nice job though, especially with your 2nd one. Just clean up the flow and keep up with the lyrics and allusions/metaphors and you’ll have it made.

ec - I wasn’t really feelin’ you on the first one lyrically, although the flow was good. Particularly, that last line was addressed to a 3rd party observer(e.g. "my "home boy priest" has just been slain"). It fit alright, but it’s a bit weak since it’s not directly addressed towards him.  However, that being said, your 2nd one was dope. At the end I thought you’d fall into the easy trap of dropping a bunch of bars ending with "ity" rhymes, but the verse ended just in time and it quit while it was ahead.

I’m gunna have to vote for ec on this one.

 -Anonymous